6 week challenge

Today we began the 6 week challenge- attend a church for 6 contionuous weeks and try to do it cause we want to not in a begrudging fashion!  We haven't picked a random church out of no where though- we are going along  to a church that our friends have also been attending on and off because they are friends with the pastor and wife from their old home in South Africa.  We like and respect the pastor and his wife but are still unsure about the whole church thing.  God has given us such freddom since we left Empower and we are certain that we do not wish to give this up again.

However, the pastor of the church, Gary, is challenging us thta we are actually acting in fear- fear of being caught up in a bad church again.  I am really not surei- I see what he is saying but I also know how good I feel, and how close to Jesus I feel, by not going to A church but being THE church with friends in our community.  This is why we have taken up the 6 week challenge- we think that one way or another God will speak to us during this time and we will be clearer on the future.

 And so today- week 1- we were moved by the worship.  It is entirely heart felt and although the band may not be of a hillsong calibre they are so sincere that it is pure worship.  They also use an eclectic mix of music which I think speaks of freedom.  I alos enjoyed the sermon, although it was a bit all over the place at times.  But the message of love and freedom was gladly recieved and I liked Gary's way of just chatting with the congregation. 

Chris got called to the front and prayed for in a way that was not flashy or showy.  However, Chris did say that he felt that what Gary said was spot on but that when he prayed he was nudging him this way and that- it was almost like he was trying to get him to fall over.  Chris also felt a contradiction between the message of freedom and then the request for us to stand up and raise our hands at the end of the service in a way that felt most unfreeing.  I also struggled with this end bit of the service when we were supposed to spend 2 minutes with Jesus.  I had felt quite close to Jesus and had been worshiping and had felt God's quiet voice but when this time was directed for this purpose I felt further from God and condemed for not being able to hear God and feel his presence.  This, I suppose, is not the church's fault but something tah is wrong in my theology, but I do not want to go to church if it is going to make me feel bad- what's the point in that?  I feel free and close to Jesus when away from church so why would I go to a place that, whether they are doing something wrong or not, makes me feel bad?

I suggested to chris that he needs to speak to Gary about his concerns cause Gary seems like a pretty open guy who is not easily offended, and maybe I need to take my own advice.  

5 weeks to go- what will you do God?